Estate agents wearing trousers with a sense of civility

Estate agents wearing trousers with a sense of civility

Last week I was looking at houses and I got really annoyed by the fact that estate agents are such arseholes. Why do they lie so much? They say the camera never lies, but it does when it's being wielded by an estate agent. These bastards have an uncanny knack of choosing just the right angle to conceal the sorts of things that might put off any potential purchasers. Like wind turbines (hey, renewable energy is fine, but you don't want flickering shadows across your windows). Yeah okay, that's probably in America, but you get the idea.

Anyway, getting back to the point, these people can't really imagine that, when you turn up to something described as having "excellent transport links" only to discover that it's actually underneath a motorway bridge and adjacent to a railway line, that you'll simply shrug your shoulders and say, "Well, we're here now, so we might as well buy it."

These people just waste everybody's time (not to be confused with me writing this drivel, because in reality I'm only wasting my time since nobody else will read it) and in my book that makes them arseholes.

Something else a bit odd this week was the news of a heterosexual couple who want to enter into a civil partnership rather than to get married in the traditional fashion, complaining that marriage is patriarchal. I immediately leapt to the conclusion that the bloke must be a fucking pussy. Then I thought for a moment and realised that this is somewhat of a paradox. After all, in my experience women always wear the trousers[1] and so a man demanding equality in a marriage is actually acting rather boorishly in my opinion. I seem to recall that there was nothing in my marriage vows about her obeying me or any of that shit. Mainly because that was obviously never going to happen and she didn't want to start out by lying in front of loads of people. But my point is that this guy is both tougher than me (I'd never dare to ask for equal treatment) and also a total pussy to agree to such a shit idea. Or a complete moron if indeed it was his idea. They should just get married in a register office and tweak the wording if they want she says so, the same as everyone else. Attention seeking twats.

Apart from that, I've been fairly relaxed. I wonder what will get on my tits this week?

If you can think of anything that's annoyed you then why not let me know in the comments?[2]

  1. I'm not a complete estate agent arsehole. I understand that there's a thing called domestic violence where someone basically kicks the shit out of someone else. It's a terrible thing that wrecks lives and it can affect anyone. Check this out: ↩︎

  2. The answer to this is that, since the author is the only reader of this blog, to leave a comment would be a bit weird. ↩︎